Whatever You Want
by MelissaRose85
Summary: As a romance silently slips away, Sesshoumaru finds out Kagome has kept a very big secret from him. SK. [Complete, and sequel up. Not too happy with the sequel, but it was asked for, so I delivered.]
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Anyone out there ever wonder if people actually read these things? Hmm. Well, I highly recommend this artist: Vienna Teng. She is exceptional.

Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha I don't think my college's student account services would constantly be up my ass. I don't own Vienna Teng's "Love Turns 40" either.

There is a line in the story from another one of her songs, and I don't own it either.

"**Whatever You Want"**

_She's holding a secret that she'll never tell._

_She's holding a secret that she'll never tell,_

_Because the myth is not supposed to retire_

_We'd rather it lit itself on fire or overdosed in a 4-star hotel._

_She's holding a truth that she'll never reveal._

_She's holding a truth that she'll never reveal,_

_Because truth this time is an ugly child,_

_And mother and daughter may reconcile_

_But their faces will never heal._

"_Don't go," she says but he's sleeping—_

_She says it to herself: "Don't go,"_

_She sees herself rising,_

_Packing her suitcase with all of her shoes._

_But something keeps you faithful_

_When all else in you turns and runs._

_Love turns 40_

_The morning comes_

_She's holding a secret that she'll never tell,_

_Because we were once cinema gods in the night,_

_And now all we've got is lunch-hour light _

_Where nothing photographs well._

"_Don't go," she says, but he's sleeping—_

_She says it to the dark: "don't go." _

_She sees herself rising, _

_Dressing in silence for nothing to lose._

_But something keeps you faithful _

_When all else in you turns and runs._

_Love turns 40_

_The morning comes_

Everyone always seemed to look at her and Sesshoumaru as if they were the golden couple: a paradigm of drama, romance: of life. They were clashing and vibrant; they were vivid and fluorescent. Both seemed to be beautiful and successful; both were stubborn and argumentative.

Their life together never once seemed to be dull.

Friends, family, the people in their local supermarket—all of them expected them to either live together forever in total passionate bliss or to end up killing each other. So when the relationship slipped into oblivion slowly over a long period of time, no one ever expected it and the relationship ended without a real notice. Many believed it had never ended and that they were merely separated for one or more reasons—and the two lovers liked this development.

She moved back to her hometown and let him keep the secluded, lavish lifestyle of the large city he became accustomed to. And she kept the secret—the whole damn thing.

She never once told anyone the truth about the breakup that didn't really fit their relationship; she never whispered a word about the silent acquiescence in the dark.

She never whispered a word to anyone, except for her mother and brother, about the child she carried in her womb when she left.

Occasionally some old acquaintance from her forgotten life would meet her in an airport or café and they would smile with pity behind their eyes, thinking that she was still attached to the man who flitted about town with different ornaments on his arm. Kagome did the same—she smiled and pretended that the break-up had never taken place. Then she would go home and lay on her bed with her treasured memory, her tiny little girl, and she would remain faithful to the memory of the man she loved.

Through the years they kept in contact. He would call her to see how she was and she could hear the inflection of his voice that seemed to say, "Don't tell. Don't end the fairytale." And she would lightly smile, turning hers lips up even though she knew he couldn't see it through the phone, and she would agree silently.

But as much as they tried to avoid each other, fate has its own destiny to fulfill. The poorly planned play collapsed quietly in an airport waiting area they just happened to be in. His flight had a connection with a long layover; her leave had been delayed due to her daughter's plan to meet her at the same airport. Her little girl, not so little anymore at twelve, and her ex-lover both seemed to eye each other in the bookstore, the café, and then the hallway to the waiting area for Terminal A.

She sat engrossed in a book until her daughter sat silently beside her and asked if she had enjoyed her last trip and if they would enjoy the next destination. She half-smiled at her, assuring her of her happiness, before returning to her book.

She looked up once, twice, and then on the third time she finally saw the golden eyes gleaming angrily at her from across the terminal.

Her eyes dropped to the printed pages again ad her face flushed and her heartbeat quickened. She had promised to never tell her secret, but he had found her out. _What do I do?_ Her mind screamed, but even then she was reacting; pulling her daughter out of her seat and gathering her belongings while motioning toward a ladies' room to her right. She fled the tension. She fled discovery.

_What do I do?_

The incessant ringing of her phone ten hours later was no surprise—she had just landed and she figured he knew that. He had always known her each and every action before she moved.

"Namie, could you please go to that café there and grab us some drinks? We have a long drive to the hotel, no doubt. Traffic is always bad here." Her daughter, so kind and quiet and nothing at all like her parents, smiled and nodded before taking the offered money and running across the new terminal they were in.

She opened her phone with a click. "Hello Sesshoumaru."

"Do you have anything you wish to explain, woman?" His muffled voice contained the same undertone, this time contradicting his words: _Don't tell. Please._

And she smiled, and she quietly agreed with his unspoken request.

"No." _I don't know who you are anymore. Don't ask to see her when you don't want to know her._

"I would assume I have fathered a child—a child you could have told me about years ago." _Tell me it isn't true. _

"Assume what you will. Namie is my child. There is no father listed on her birth certificate." _I didn't tell. I kept my secret, so don't flash it about._

The line was cut off. Silence met her ear.

Namie returned with coffee and water. Kagome smiled at her daughter and they quietly left the airport. She would be faithful to her love.

Her daughter, none the wiser to the tension and heartache her mother was experiencing, skipped toward the exit. She smiled at the man with the eyes so like hers—but his seemed so _haunted_—but never once broke her rhythm.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Alright. Many reviewers asked for a sequel, so I'm giving one! I was surprised by the reviews; I know some writers get thousands but to be honest it was such a thrill to get into town last night and see all those reviews (cue warm fuzzy feeling). And for those who read all my stories, my longer, first story is still being rewritten and finished. I'm gonna post it after it's fully finished.

I personally like the way the first Whatever You Want ended, but for those of you who like happy endings, here ya go. This is as close as I get to fairytales.

This is mainly Kagome's POV. As for ages, if you are wondering, Kagome is 36, Sesshoumaru 38, and Namie 16.

Disclaimer: I ain't got nuffin'. (Southern humor. Sorry. People tend to think we actually speak this way!)

"**Whatever You Want is Not What You Need"**

_He's a company man, your right hand, 13 years and counting._

_No detectable ambition, a model of efficiency, far as you can see. _

_He knows every loophole, the art of fine print, massages the numbers 'til they fit. _

_And every time you ask him for another vanishing act, he half-smiles as if to say: _

_Whatever you want is fine by me. _

_Whatever you want is fine by me._

_Never a real moment together but she understands: you're an important man. _

_Another late night, don't know if you're coming home or when. _

_She's alone again. But she goes on curating your domestic museum._

_She disappears in her loyalty; she is a dress wearing a face in the doorway,_

_Opening her arms out to you:_

_Whatever you want is fine by me. _

_Whatever you want is fine by me._

_No one would dare to question you, oh no. No one would dare to stand up. _

_But in the night she leaves the papers in a tidy pile: evidence for her reasons. _

_And in the night he takes the main accounts and pulls the files, detailing every treason._

_I am the last one you'd ever suspect of setting the fire, _

_But as you switch on your TV tomorrow morning, you'll hear me saying quietly: _

_Whatever you want is fine by me. _

_Whatever you say, I'll do what you ask me. _

_Whatever you say, but do you know who's listening? _

_Whatever you say, you know it's over. _

-"Whatever You Want", Vienna Teng

I had always known that 'the question' would come someday, sometime most likely when I would least expect it.

Well, that's not totally true.

I actually expected it to come in preschool when my daughter saw all the other daddies attending this event or that; I thought Namie would question me about men and why she never saw any in our house. Well, I was _wrong_.

It came at the age of 16.

My daughter had never really acted as if she missed not having a father (maybe because she never knew him) until her best friend, a good-natured girl named Annelis, mentioned that she had no mother. She just had her dad.

Namie stomped into our Chicago apartment and threw her books onto the table, grumbling all the way to fridge. She picked up a water, sat it down, picked it back up, then turned to me and calmly asked, "Who was my father?"

I immediately dropped the file I was perusing.

"Huh?"

"My father. Who was he?" She came and sat on the sofa facing my small writing desk in the living area.

"Umm…is that really relevant after sixteen years of _not_ having one?"

"DUH!" Yikes.

'What do I do?' ran through my mind like a mantra. If I told her, it could cause serious problems. On the other hand, if I denied her the information she might form some very bad ideas about her mom. She might think I didn't know and I was a slut in my younger years or something. Unfortunately she got her imagination from me.

"So, mom?"

"I'm not supposed to say anything. There is quite a bit about my life you don't know, Namie." She slammed her feet onto the wooden floor, thrashing about as she raised herself off the couch to glare at me.

"Well, then you tell me. I want to know who my father is!" I sighed.

To tell, not to tell. Hmm… to swear to secrecy?

"You must promise not to tell anyone. Your father wouldn't be very happy with that considering no one knows about you."

She humphed. And then promptly nodded.

"Your father and I met in high school, fell in love, and moved in together when we went away to college. We were together 6 years or so before we ended. I was pregnant and I knew that would just ruin his plans even more, so I kept it quiet."

"What?" She scowled. "He wouldn't have wanted me? What an irresponsible jackass."

I laughed. "Yes."

"Well?"

"Well what?" She gave me that 'don't be stupid' look she had perfected.

"Name? Description? Social Security Number so I can find out something about the man that helped create me?"

"Sesshoumaru InuTaishou." Her eyes went wide.

"The—the guy always on TV? The one who just bought Sony out?"

"Yeah, that's him. Now, can I—"

"Yeah, go back to what you were doing. Sorry, mom. Love ya." Without waiting for a response, my daughter left my company to go deafen herself from loud music in her room.

That went surprisingly well.

Two weeks later I amended above statement.

I woke up one Saturday refreshed, happy, and looking forward to a quick trip to Field Museum with my daughter. After that we could run to the University and see if that file I needed was still in my office.

That all went down the drain when I went to wake my daughter and found a note on her bed reading, and I quote, 'Sorry mom. I gotta meet this man.'

Oh God. She didn't.

But of course, she did.

I quickly found out that my daughter had boarded a plane to L.A. then Tokyo four hours before I woke up. And what does a mother do when her daughter has decided to go halfway around the world alone?

She screams, loudly. Then promptly contacts her best friend in Tokyo, Sango, to hopefully have her intercept her horrible daughter at the airport.

Sango wasn't in.

So I boarded a plane and went after her.

A day (two days?) later I stepped into Tokyo's airport and quickly made my way to Sango's home. Thankfully she was home and once the story was explained she said she would gladly help me find my incorrigible daughter. We were apparently way too late: my phone rang and I definitely didn't like the number I saw.

"Would you like to explain now, Kagome?"

"No?" I sounded like a small, terrified bunny rabbit.

"Where are you?" _ohgodohgodohgodohgod_

"Tokyo. Sango's apartment. I was going to try to intercept—"

"My daughter?" Such rage was in his voice.

"Yea." The line went dead and I knew I was in for it. He was pissed, livid, outraged, mad, and for good measure, angry. And coming to get me.

Three hours later I was in the main room of the InuTaishou mansion being glared at by five very angry people. Sakaeteiru and Izayoi seemed more upset, but Inuyasha and Kikyou were furious. They were extremely distressed about the fact that their children grew up alone, not knowing their cousin.

Yea, well, I'm upset that the father of my child is an asshole.

Namie didn't know what to think, so she sat by my side, her hands tightly clasping my left one. And Sesshoumaru paced, paced, and paced some more.

Izayoi finally spoke, and very softly she asked, "Kagome, do you have a reason or explanation for this?"

I sighed and began to speak. "I thou—"

"She does have a reason, and a damn good one!" Everyone looked aghast at Namie. "What? You all stand here mad at my mom when it's not her fault. That man—" she swung her now freed left hand to point at Sesshoumaru, "didn't want me!"

_Oh no. Oh God._

"Excuse me? I have to know something exists before I can want it. And I certainly did not know you existed."

"Yes you did!"

"I assure you I did not." Now all our heads were slingshotting from side to side as we followed the argument.

"I remember you. The airport in Phoenix. You were the man who followed me and mom around the terminal."

"I—at that point I was not given an answer concerning your parentage." Sakaeteiru's face began to get red, then white, and finally blotchy as he stood quickly and stomped his bulky frame over to his eldest son.

"You have seen her before? You knew she existed yet you try and act like an injured parent?"

"I—just because I knew she existed does not mean she was mine."

"Look at her, damnit! You see those eyes! How many people in this world have _that_ eye color, Sesshoumaru? If you didn't believe that she was your daughter one look could have convinced you!"

At this point, I left the room. Everything escalated into one huge argument between the family members, with Namie in the middle screaming. The kitchen seemed like a better alternative. Kikyou followed me. Solitude was just not possible in this house.

"Kagome?"

"Yea, Kikyou?"

"Why didn't you at least tell me? We might have not had the best relationship but I am your cousin. No matter what problems we had I could have been there."

"I didn't want anyone to know." Her face darkened, shadowed by her anger and hurt for just a moment before she hid it.

"I believe that is silly. Others had a right to know that child, to be her family. You did not give us that right."

"I know," I said quietly. She sat down beside me and we listened to the fighting in the other room, waiting for it to grow quiet before we went back in there.

I never went back into the formal room. Instead, Namie came to me and Jaken ushered us upstairs to rooms overlooking the west side of the house. Izayoi, kind woman she is, figured that both of us could use a rest after the long flights and terrible day. I agreed. No bed had ever felt that good. It felt better when Namie crawled into bed with me and hugged me. We lay like that for hours, something we hadn't done since she was a little girl.

It began to grow dark and we reluctantly got up and Namie went down to dinner. I refused. I was not welcome here. She was their family and I—I had never been a member even by marriage.

I didn't feel like meeting Seshsoumaru's newest chick either.

Instead, I ran a hot bath in my big tub and threw in some bubble bath to help me relax. I continued to remind myself that tomorrow we could leave. Go home. How I missed my quiet life in Chicago with my daughter.

"It's the quiet night that breaks me, I cannot stand the sight of this familiar place," I sang softly to myself. So many memories rushed into my mind, brought there by the house and the family I used to love. I had missed them all terribly when I lay in bed at night, alone. There was only Souta and I left, and he had gone to university in Kyoto despite my offers to move him to Chicago and then stayed there to work and start a family. We barely talked anymore. It had truly been Namie and Kagome, always. How would that change now? Would he take responsibility for her and want her to visit? Would he try to take her from me and claim her as his?

"Oh no!" I sat up and sent water sloshing everywhere with my exclamation.

And I did the same thing when I heard a voice behind me ask, "Why aren't you at dinner?"

"What are you doing in my bathroom!"

"Getting you for dinner."

"I can make it on my own if I want to go!" His gaze drifted under my face and I sunk under the water to my chest.

"You should come downstairs. Everyone is waiting."

"Well, tell them not to. I'm not hungry to be honest." He 'hnned' and walked away. I had won that round, thank God.

I got out of the tub, seeing how my bath had been ruined, and slung my robe on and walked into my bedroom to have yet again another mysterious Sesshoumaru sighting.

"Will you just leave?" I huffed and sat down on my bed, brushing my hair.

"Was I really that horrible, Kagome? You feared telling me I had a child?" I sighed.

"You didn't want that life, Sesshoumaru. The little wife and cozy home complete with kids and a dog never suited you. You know that."

"Perhaps you should have asked me." I shuddered. Was I wrong? He seemed to like the party life so much more than I ever did.

"I didn't want my child exposed to your lifestyle. I was—was so scared that if I stayed, she would realize that her father didn't love her mother or her. He wanted a gallery of beautiful women instead of his family." He finally turned to me, disgust and rage in his eyes.

"Is that what you think? You _left_ me. We had a conversation about absolutely _nothing_ and I wake the next day to see that you have left. For the next ten years we talked sporadically and—Kagome I could hear it in your voice."

"Hear what?" I asked in a hushed manner.

"The love, the desperation, the heartache. But each time you would hang up without ever a question about us."

"I knew you wanted your freedom. I played according to the rules—"

"What rules?"

"The ones you chose!" I snapped and screamed.

"What are you babbling about?"

"That damn letter. You told me not to tell and every time we talked I could hear you asking the same damn question over and over. So I didn't. I dealt with the ridicule of your friends and the loneliness and the _hurt—"_

He cut me off with a sharp bark of laughter.

"I didn't want anyone to know that we were no longer a couple. I didn't want any other man coming after what was supposed to be mine."

"So I'm not allowed the same courtesy you are? I have to be single, pure, devoted to you while you traipse around Tokyo with your fangirls?"

"I never said that and you should know better than to listen to gossip."

"Oh really?"

"Kagome, be reasonable."

"I am being reasonable, damnit!" He sighed and I huffed.

"I know I can't explain everything, Kagome. But I promise that I—" he was cut off by Namie's entrance. She glanced at me and then her father before she stepped in and stood beside me.

"So, Namie, did you enjoy your dinner?" She smiled at me.

"I like them, mom. They seem nice." She flicked her eyes at her father, questioning his presence.

"We will be leaving tomorrow. You can come and visit them during summer break." She nodded and went to her room, leaving me with Sesshoumaru.

"She can visit you for a month this summer. You may call her whenever you like."

"Kagome, she's my daughter!" He sounded so broken, so strangled at that moment. I felt so sorry for him.

"I know." His gaze melted me the same way it used to, and I turned to avoid him. "You can speak to her whenever. Visit her whenever you come to the states, but, Sesshoumaru, she is still _my_ daughter. I have raised her and loved her—"

"I wouldn't take her away, Kagome. I just wish—" he flicked his long, silver hair behind his shoulder, "I wish you were closer. Both of you."

I gasped. I shuddered. Unghh.

"What?"

"I miss you as well as a daughter I don't know."

"Why now? Why?"

"A catalyst maybe? Kagome, you gave me a child. That just makes me love you more."

Harps were playing, angels were singing, and I was in heaven.

_Epilogue_

We ended up moving to Tokyo. I found a job at a university there and I watched as Sesshoumaru became a father. Believe it or not, he was good at it.

Our relationship grew as well. It took some time to get over everything that had happened and to get used to being around him again. I constantly worried that this gorgeous man who could have any woman he wanted would leave at any time. Surely at some point he would realize I wasn't the pretty young girl he met 24 years ago and he would leave me. I was getting old and I knew that I wasn't as pretty as I used to be.

But he never did leave.

He proposed two years after Namie found him. We had a quiet wedding at the InuTaishou mansion and not once that night did he seemed disgusted with my older self. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

So Namie got her father and I got a husband. Isn't it funny how some things work out?

A/N: Happy endings are harder to write. Sesshoumaru's character is hard to write romantically because he is a damn ice block! Sorry if anyone is upset by anything he says, etc. I tried to keep him in character.


End file.
